Choosing Stillness: A Worthwhile Struggle
By Angie Nasrallah
That space on the calendar which stretches through Lent and Pascha, to the end of school, has passed. This space has been stuffed full, like a teenager at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I’m not complaining because I know these family days are finite. Yet, there is an imbalance that happens when you’re running from pillar to post, checking boxes, showing up with snacks at games, hosting Pascha parties, attending end of year concerts and the like. It’s draining.
Somewhere around the second week of May I began to long for summer. I got snappy with people around here and I got into “productivity-mom-mode” where it was all about doing and checking boxes, studying for finals, showing up with teacher gifts and “finishing strong!” Like the persistent drip of a slowly leaking faucet, this life became irritating.
Thankfully, one afternoon in a hammock beside a lake on a hot day, relief came. The faucet stopped dripping and I left the buffet.
I was reading The Wilderness Journal by Angela Doll Carlson. On day 120, the author remarked on this passage by St. Mark the Ascetic:
Stillness. Quiet. Prayer.
I took a breath and gazed around at the rolling hills, the geese and the gentle quiet of the lake. This was restorative indeed.
I know these are ever important practices if I am to be spiritually balanced. Yet, I continue to busy myself with talking and doing. It is a daily struggle. Perhaps God used the hammock and the words of St. Mark to show me that it is possible, even in these busy days, to grasp small pieces of this life. I will have to be intentional about making space for mental and physical calmness. There are too many meals to cook, baskets of laundry to wash and meetings to attend for it to just happen.